By Theresa Anthony, author
You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream ~Audrey Hepburn
Last week, as I drove around our quaint historical town square, I noticed a new vacancy.
Seeing the emptied little store, I felt two emotions simultaneously: sadness for the business that had closed, along with a strange little surge of excitement. Why excitement? Because years ago, after a long retail career, I had owned two stores of my own. Seeing that For Lease sign in the window reminded me that my love for buying and selling still wriggles around in my heart.
Driving home that day, I lamented the uncomfortable truth that aging just makes us more cautious, dang it. The finite human lifespan naturally causes us to evolve toward practicality versus impulsivity. I am well aware that my go-for-it risk-taking days have given way to a more calculated approach, a fact that I find both comforting and sad.
Why is it that we talk ourselves out of our dreams in our later years? Maybe because we are older and wiser and more cognizant of the pain of failure. Maybe we can’t risk the financial losses that chasing a dream might entail. Maybe we are just too tired to put in the work. I say it’s a little of each. Ahh, but I do remember …
As a young girl, my dreaming switch was permanently turned to the “on” position. I was constantly conjuring up new, exciting business ideas that I sincerely believed I could pull off. I even assembled a motel made of cardboard boxes on the vacant corner across the street, complete with a Vacancy sign. In my nine-year-old mind, I honestly thought patrons would clammer to my establishment and stay the night. God bless childhood, when you get to dream big dreams without any reality filters inhibiting them.
But, alas, I am no longer nine. Indeed, I am keenly aware that opening a new retail business in my late sixties wouldn’t be fiscally or physically prudent. It may be a harsh reality that aging limits the scope of our dreams, but nevertheless, we should resist with all our might any temptation to stop dreaming altogether.
Imagine never again setting a new personal goal. Heck no!
Goal setting in this phase of life just means adjusting your dreams a bit, versus giving up on dreaming altogether. Climbing Mount Whitney might not be an option for most boomers, but what about learning a new instrument, taking a cross-country road trip, getting involved in local politics, or finally finishing that college degree? How about taking up pickle ball or a signing up for a cooking class? Maybe you set new fitness goals and get in the best physical shape possible. These are dreams that can be achieved, regardless of a person's age.
Find mentors and heroes that inspire you!
It helps to have people in your life who set a good example, someone who inspires you to keep stretching and growing. I was blessed to have a pretty amazing grandfather who showed me firsthand what dreaming big looks like. After an illustrious rags-to-riches story, my grandpa was still setting and achieving new goals in his eighties. I even dedicated my latest book, In Search of Gopher Hollow, to him. His unstoppable quest to best himself with each successive dream was nothing short of admirable. How lucky I was to soak up his energy and learn from him from my early childhood until his passing when I was thirty-eight.
Therefore, if you ever feel tempted to give up on your dreams, go out and find yourself a mentor. Seek out someone you admire and respect that is still setting new goals and pushing themselves in their later years, and then emulate them.
Trust me, it’s truly never too late. I was in my sixties when I finally realized my dream of writing a book. This project was fueled by the love for, and the loss of, my son Matthew, who had died by suicide. I wanted to write his story, to do something productive and positive with all that pain. What resulted was a deeply personal memoir entitled My 13th Station.
One book then led to the next: Hope Springs from a Mother’s Broken Heart. I wrote this self-help book to offer grief support for mothers. It showcases the stories of eleven grieving mothers, each sharing in her own unique voice how she survived the loss of a beloved child.
Despite their painful stories of tragic loss, these women were driven to set new goals and dream new dreams, all in honor of their beloved child. Neither aging nor grieving should put an end to your dreams. We may age and grieve, yet we are still capable of creating.
Allow me to introduce you to some of the ladies featured in Hope Springs. See how these women – my mentors – followed their dreams:
Jodi Barber: After the loss of Jodi’s nineteen-year-old son Jarrod to a prescription pill overdose, enabled by local dirty doctor who was prescribing him huge quantities of various benzodiazepines, she launched a mission to save lives and has never stopped. Jodi co-produced the powerful Overtaken documentaries on drug awareness that continue to be viewed in middle schools across the country. Her frequent appearances in the media, television, radio, and newspaper, continue to spread awareness about the dangers of prescription drugs.
Elizabeth Moersch: Elizabeth had never fancied herself an artist until after the loss of her twenty-year-old son Travis, who died suddenly when a rare virus injured his heart. One night in December, Elizabeth was awakened in the middle of the night. She went out to the garage and grabbed some paper and cheap watercolors and painted a picture of the little statue of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that sat on her nightstand. From that point on, painting provided an outlet for her emotions, grief, and faith. Her stunning, soulful artwork has grown a huge following.
Gina Cousineau: Gina’s son Evan was only ten years old when he passed away from a rare genetic condition called adrenoleukodystrophy, or ALD. This devastating loss fueled Gina’s first project, Be a Hero, Become a Donor, assisting others with this condition in finding a bone marrow match. Later she spearheaded newborn screening for ALD in California. Since then, Gina has also built a health and wellness brand called Mama G’s Lifestyle to promote nutrition and wellness, and regularly writes guest columns in local publications.
Margie Fleitman: Margie lost her firstborn son Mitchell to a devastating heroin overdose when he was twenty-two. As a means of managing her own grief, Margie co-launched a Solace for Hope grief support chapter in Orange County, CA. Solace meetings provide a safe place for parents, siblings, and friends who have experienced a similar loss to connect and share. She has since opened up two more locations in Southern California, as well as providing virtual support meetings.
Sandy Barker: Sandy endured the loss of her fourteen-year-old son Christian to a valiant battle with ALL, a form of leukemia. Sandy was sensitive to how much Christian’s siblings suffered during their brother’s illness and passing, so she launched The Gold Rush Cure Foundation. Gold Rush Cure provides large golden-wrapped gift boxes filled with toys, books, games etc. that provide comfort for the siblings of cancer patients who suffer their own type of pain.
So, yes, that little storefront in the town square beckoned me for a minute or two, however, I will watch in admiration as someone else fetches the lease and opens a wonderful new establishment there. My dreams are not quite that ambitious these days, but they are definitely still there rattling around in my head. Maybe a new book is in the offing? We shall see. For you, dear reader, keep dreaming those dreams and go out and make. them. happen!
To read all the beautiful stories in Hope Springs, you can order it here:
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